He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
