Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
