I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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