What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
