I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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