i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
