Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
