HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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