Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
