All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
