Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
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No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
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If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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