I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
please come you make the beer taste better
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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