i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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