there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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