YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
