She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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