Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
