shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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