I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
