We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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