...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
