you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
