when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
