I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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