just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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