Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
that's an acceptable place to lick
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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