Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
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Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
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I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.