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Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
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