Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  You really coming over, don't trick.

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  (313): You really coming over, don't trick. http://tfl.nu/futk
  Replies (2) Good night (1159) Bad night (1656)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.

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  (909): I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part. http://tfl.nu/wibn
  Replies (14) Good night (4638) Bad night (641)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.

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  (913): You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion. http://tfl.nu/50jg
  Replies (86) Good night (3386) Bad night (708)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time

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  (505): Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time http://tfl.nu/wts0
  Replies (9) Good night (842) Bad night (2795)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!

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  (248): SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH! http://tfl.nu/111h
  Replies (66) Good night (1253) Bad night (17144)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''

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  (248): Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.'' http://tfl.nu/51jx
  Replies (11) Good night (6570) Bad night (2058)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.

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  (217): You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice. http://tfl.nu/09lg
  Replies (4) Good night (3454) Bad night (1139)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.

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  (978): the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase. http://tfl.nu/thr7
  Replies (11) Good night (1143) Bad night (2013)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.

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  (910): Like some sort of pot growing robin hood. http://tfl.nu/4atp
  Replies (17) Good night (1790) Bad night (686)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.

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  (407): And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know. http://tfl.nu/l7lp
  Replies (5) Good night (1229) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking

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  (617): If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking http://tfl.nu/9ua1
  Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (669)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.

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  (515): I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom. http://tfl.nu/zme8
  Replies (0) Good night (611) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break

  (425): View more from Washington

  Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.

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  (425): Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break (425): Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk. http://tfl.nu/ki3s
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (373)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do

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  (203): Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do http://tfl.nu/ky18
  Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.

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  (401): Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired. http://tfl.nu/40ai
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (291)

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