this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.