Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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