no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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