Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
