its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
