Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so let's talk penis.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
