He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My ATM looks so different sober.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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