You made me cry and you don't even care
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
