Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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