I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So many bounce houses so little time
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
