Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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