Heybabeimwearingurpanties
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
