smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
