his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
