What did we do last night that was yellow?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
