i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
