it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
