Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
