then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
