Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize