remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
A bitchslap is in order.
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