just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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