I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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