Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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