okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
