i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
