Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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