He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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