i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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