So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
