...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
