Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
