Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
