there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
