Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
