Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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