If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
