her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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